I don’t know what it is about these two words that's so potent, but if there’s ever a phrase I use when talking about hygge that connects deeply, it’s this one.
As Mother’s Day is on the horizon and it evokes a complex mix of emotions, I wanted to dig into the idea of mothering yourself.
My first brush with the idea of mothering myself came from gnawing grief.
I was so excited when I found out that we were having a baby. I allowed myself to imagine pushing the pram through the golden leaves, milky midnight feeds and waking up on Christmas morning with the precious gift we had been longing for.
Then, in one stomach lurching moment, it was ripped away.
Nothing prepares you for seeing your baby, perfect, tiny and lifeless on a screen.
It felt like part of me died that day and in a way, it did. I had all this motherly love to give and empty arms.
The only place I felt safe was at home. I baked, I cried, I curled up under blankets, read books and went for walks. I made difficult choices and absented myself from any family events that would have made my mental health worse.
Slowly, I realised that I was mothering myself.
Why am I telling you this?
Maybe you have a complex relationship with your mum, maybe you miss her dearly or maybe she’s your closest ally. Maybe you’re a frazzled mum struggling to find space for yourself, maybe your heart and stomach ache for a child or maybe you choose to be child-free.
Although our stories and our paths are different, we all have an inner-child that we need to love and care for.
How can you mother yourself?
Mothering yourself can take many forms. It may be the simple, surface acts of self-care like clean sheets, a book and an early night, buying yourself a bunch of daffs to add a bit of sunshine to your day or laying out your clothes the night before to help your morning run smoothly.
It’s also the deeper work of learning how to draw and keep boundaries, learning who you are and what makes you sparkle, being able to discern between the stories you’re telling yourself and what is truly possible for you.
It’s learning how to value your decisions without outsourcing them to others.
It’s learning how to delegate without guilt or shame.
It’s learning how to love yourself.
You can find out more about my upcoming workshop The Key to Your Year: Roots and Shoots and my hygge mentoring sessions here.
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